Saluki Posted April 22 Posted April 22 As some of you who know me personally know, I became a first time dad last month. Fifty Five (double nickels) is a tough time to be doing all-nighters. I hear new dads in their 20s and 30s complain about it, but I could drink all night in my 30s and go to work the next day. I'm committed to winning the "World's Greatest Dad" championship. I don't know if it's like Boxing where there are lots of governing bodies (I see a lot of past champs with T-shirts), but I am committed to unifying the titles. So in that spirit, what is some piece of advice, or practice from your childhood upbringing that you remember about your dad and planned on using it yourself when you raised your children?
Longnose Posted April 22 Posted April 22 (edited) it wasnt every 3 day weekend but it sure felt like it. From like 6-10 years old like every 3 day holiday weekend my dad took us kids camping/hiking/fishing all over within a 5 hour drive of home. those were some epic memories and instilled a love of doing stuff outside in me. Im not quite as dedicated as he was but ive been trying to instill a love of the outdoors in my kids. Also, repaying the favor. I just took a trip for my 40th and went down to see the JOE area and spend a week fishing with my old man down in Port of St Joe an St George Island and scuttled butted around panama city. **Edit ** Congrats! BTW. They hard but worth it! Edited April 22 by Longnose
Eldad Posted April 22 Posted April 22 (edited) 20 minutes ago, Longnose said: it wasnt every 3 day weekend but it sure felt like it. From like 6-10 years old like every 3 day holiday weekend my dad took us kids camping/hiking/fishing all over within a 5 hour drive of home. those were some epic memories and instilled a love of doing stuff outside in me. Im not quite as dedicated as he was but ive been trying to instill a love of the outdoors in my kids. Also, repaying the favor. I just took a trip for my 40th and went down to see the JOE area and spend a week fishing with my old man down in Port of St Joe an St George Island and scuttled butted around panama city. **Edit ** Congrats! BTW. They hard but worth it! Yep my kids are 13, 10, 7 now and I would second this. Camping, fishing, hunting, exploring, building forts and dams has been the best. At home make up elaborate games, write books, make whatever terrible iPhone movies they want to make. Just be game for it all with a good attitude (it really is fun). Screens are bad generally but some video games are very very good. Pick the right ones that make the kid think and try to beat the game together. Read books together every night even though your brain will be screaming “you can skip one night.” My 13 year old is doing his own thing more now but he still likes the family stuff just as much and we have a bond that can’t be broken because of the time and attention I put in earlier. Congrats! You have a lot of great years coming. Edited April 22 by Eldad
Gregmal Posted April 22 Posted April 22 Congrats! It’s always the experiences. Especially the ones where you’re teaching them things.
Rainier Posted April 22 Posted April 22 CONGRATULATIONS!!! It is definitely draining early on, but very much worth the effort. It’s not rocket science, just be really patient and think about things from their perspective and their future perspectives as you make decisions. I came from the camp of “I don’t like kids and never want to have kids.” But as soon as my wife found out she was pregnant, that all went out the window. And when he was born, it was obvious that it was going to be the best thing that ever happened to me. One thing to keep in mind is that, if you’re like me, you will end up REALLY (and I mean extremely) missing the era when they were a “baby” (from like 6 months to 3 yrs old). That’s a hard time and you’re tired all the time, but I look back now and I’d pay a lot of money to be able to go back in time and just play with him for a day when he was a toddler.
Parsad Posted April 22 Posted April 22 30 minutes ago, Saluki said: As some of you who know me personally know, I became a first time dad last month. Fifty Five (double nickels) is a tough time to be doing all-nighters. I hear new dads in their 20s and 30s complain about it, but I could drink all night in my 30s and go to work the next day. I'm committed to winning the "World's Greatest Dad" championship. I don't know if it's like Boxing where there are lots of governing bodies (I see a lot of past champs with T-shirts), but I am committed to unifying the titles. So in that spirit, what is some piece of advice, or practice from your childhood upbringing that you remember about your dad and planned on using it yourself when you raised your children? Congratulations! You're just barely older than one of my best friends when he had his first. He's 61 now and has 5 kids (two girls, three boys) all under 9! They were popping out of his wife every two years. Luckily she's about 20 years younger than him and loves children! Best piece of advice...I can only provide as an uncle with a niece and nephew, but I did raise my brother from 9 years old: Trust your instincts Listen Pay attention Don't over worry Close friends and family will criticize your parenting (deal with it) Take care of your wife because there will be times she might be overwhelmed or very, very tired! You will never be "the best" Dad...you will always be "his/her" Dad...no one else will ever, ever have that title! Ever! Everything else you will learn as you go along. And try and get some sleep when you get tired...because you definitely will get tired! Cheers!
Saluki Posted April 22 Author Posted April 22 Thanks for the advice. I do have fond memories of camping with my Dad. I remember once while camping he wanted to listen to a soccer match and took out his Grundig short wave, looked at the specs in the manual and figured out that he needed a 20 foot antennae to get the game. He attached wire to the antennae and attached it to a couple of trees that my brother and I climbed up to get it high enough. 2
73 Reds Posted April 22 Posted April 22 1 hour ago, Saluki said: As some of you who know me personally know, I became a first time dad last month. Fifty Five (double nickels) is a tough time to be doing all-nighters. I hear new dads in their 20s and 30s complain about it, but I could drink all night in my 30s and go to work the next day. I'm committed to winning the "World's Greatest Dad" championship. I don't know if it's like Boxing where there are lots of governing bodies (I see a lot of past champs with T-shirts), but I am committed to unifying the titles. So in that spirit, what is some piece of advice, or practice from your childhood upbringing that you remember about your dad and planned on using it yourself when you raised your children? @Saluki Congrats to you and your wife/partner. The best thing you can do as a dad is be there for your child. Nothing in life is as rewarding as your children.
Red Lion Posted April 22 Posted April 22 Congratulations, welcome to the most fulfilling and challenging time of your life! I've run the gamut and had a kid when I was quite young and one in middle age. While I had more overall energy at 20, I find parenting easier as a middle aged parent for a variety of reasons relating to personal temperament, financial stability, etc. The best piece of advice is to make as much time with your child as possible before they hit their teenage years. Put the career on the back burner (didn't you just retire?? perfect situation) as much as possible!
Red Lion Posted April 22 Posted April 22 52 minutes ago, Rainier said: One thing to keep in mind is that, if you’re like me, you will end up REALLY (and I mean extremely) missing the era when they were a “baby” (from like 6 months to 3 yrs old). That’s a hard time and you’re tired all the time, but I look back now and I’d pay a lot of money to be able to go back in time and just play with him for a day when he was a toddler. +100
Sweet Posted April 22 Posted April 22 Congrats. Being an older dad has some benefits, such as increased patience, and hopefully you are financially stable and able to spend a lot of time with them. My advice, a cliche, is that each child is different and develops at their own pace, sometimes they might be fast at doing something, other times a year or even two behind. Also, don’t give them iPads, keep TV to an hour a day if you can.
whatstheofficerproblem Posted April 22 Posted April 22 Congrats! Baby seems very healthy. They'll grow up fast.
rkbabang Posted April 22 Posted April 22 Congrats! Spend as much time with them as you can, it doesn't matter what you are doing with them as long as you are doing something with them. Their childhood will go by in the blink of an eye. Teach them as much as you can about as much as you can. My kids are now in the mid-20s, but here's a post I wrote here when my kids were little on how I was teaching them about money. I'd still recommend this method, but obviously not for a few years if your's is just a baby. For now, just enjoy being a father.
djokovic1 Posted April 22 Posted April 22 Congrats! It's the best thing in the world. Sometimes, I am just walking along my 2 kids with my wife, the sun is shining, the kids are singing along and nothing could be more perfect. And those moments happen quite often. Of course on the other side, there is disciplining and many more demands on your time and less quality time with your partner. But quite interestingly unlike in investing, with kids, I cherish and am grateful for the good times and don't really remember the bad times. I guess that's why it's so fulfilling for most. Unlike investing, where due to loss aversion, the losses hurt much more than the joys of the gains.
Whensthepaintdry? Posted April 22 Posted April 22 Congratulations! I have a one-year-old, so I’m also open to any advice. I’ve always heard that children grow up so quickly, and it’s definitely true. I barely remember him being small enough to fit on my forearm. The sleepless nights are a distant memory (hopefully they stay that way). My wife is 41, and I’m 38. I’ve really started focusing on improving my mobility because I want to be his go to playmate and try to keep up with him for as long as possible.
coffeecaninvestor Posted April 22 Posted April 22 Congratulations! Just be present and be patient with them..
Parsad Posted April 22 Posted April 22 2 hours ago, Saluki said: Thanks for the advice. I do have fond memories of camping with my Dad. I remember once while camping he wanted to listen to a soccer match and took out his Grundig short wave, looked at the specs in the manual and figured out that he needed a 20 foot antennae to get the game. He attached wire to the antennae and attached it to a couple of trees that my brother and I climbed up to get it high enough. You and your partner/spouse pick a name yet? Cheers!
Zemergefen Posted April 22 Posted April 22 Mazal Tov!! When the first kid swallows a coin you're in a total panic, you get to the ER before the coin even hits the stomach. When the second kid swallows a coin, you've been through this! you just wait for it to come out the other end. When the third swallows a coin, you just deduct it from their allowance. Only advise is to relax and cherish every moment!
Marco Van Basten Posted April 22 Posted April 22 If you can afford it, hire as much help as you can - cleaning lady, housekeeper, nanny, get groceries delivered, etc... That way, you and your wife can be rested and enjoy every minute rather than be harried, exhausted and angry. We did shifts at night, I would take the 9 pm till 3 am shift, wife went to bed at 9 pm, and I would stay up working till 3 am, and then the wife would take over. Second the experiences, and nightly reading to the child. I read to my kids every evening, and I play soccer with my boys.
dwy000 Posted April 22 Posted April 22 Congrats @Saluki. It puts all the crap we do on here in perspective as to what's truly important. Enjoy every minute. It goes by quickly.
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