Longnose Posted April 22 Posted April 22 34 minutes ago, Zemergefen said: When the first kid swallows a coin you're in a total panic, you get to the ER before the coin even hits the stomach. When the second kid swallows a coin, you've been through this! you just wait for it to come out the other end. When the third swallows a coin, you just deduct it from their allowance. This is all i ever think about when kids swallow coins
Sweet Posted April 22 Posted April 22 1 hour ago, Whensthepaintdry? said: My wife is 41, and I’m 38. I’ve really started focusing on improving my mobility because I want to be his go to playmate and try to keep up with him for as long as possible. Of all the comments in this thread this is the most important one. Get active, get healthy, and be there for your son / daughter as long as you possibly can.
Eldad Posted April 22 Posted April 22 1 hour ago, Zemergefen said: Mazal Tov!! When the first kid swallows a coin you're in a total panic, you get to the ER before the coin even hits the stomach. When the second kid swallows a coin, you've been through this! you just wait for it to come out the other end. When the third swallows a coin, you just deduct it from their allowance. Only advise is to relax and cherish every moment! So true. And almost always that 3rd one is the most resilient and well adjusted when they get older.
SharperDingaan Posted April 22 Posted April 22 Congratulations! Enjoy every moment, share the chocolate cigars around, and remember that they grow up very quickly. Babies are also a lot more robust than you might think ... should you accidentally happen to drop them SD
Blugolds Posted April 23 Posted April 23 Congrats @Saluki !! Im about 10yrs behind you and have twin 3yr old boys. Outside of having twins, as an "older dad" the first year was hard for me, I was also indifferent to having kids before the fact, could take it or leave it, she felt more strongly and so we tried and got BOGO! The womens body goes through a lot, hormones change and it can take a while for them to return back to normal, this can also affect dad, its a huge life change, throw in a partner that is dealing with hormonal/body changes and a lack of sleep and my entire world turned upside down. I didnt know what to expect but the situation I was in certainly wasnt whatever the heck I had in my mind it would be. It was supposed to be the best thing in the world, and I found myself think, oh no, what have I dont/got myself into. You find your groove, there will be tough times, Im not gonna sugar coat it, exhaustion, tempers, probably the majority attributed to lack of sleep by one or both partners. But I will also tell you that it gets better and better, infants were brutal for me, watching them walk/talk was amazing and now that they are developing into actual little people its the best. Mom and Dad relationship is better than ever and there is literally nothing I'd rather do in this world than spend time as a family. I "get it" now and I can honestly say it's the happiest I've ever been in my life, notice I didnt say the easiest, or the most freedom lol. Its easy to get caught up in trying to survive, get sleep, take care of the kid, mom, yourself, work, juggle everything, but "try" to also pause and enjoy it, that can be easier said than done, and people told me that as well, and honestly at the time I was in survival mode so it didnt register, once we made it out of survival mode, it makes sense, sounds cliche but it does go fast. There has never been a better time for parents to document these early years, you have a camera/cloud in your pocket, you don t have to have it out non stop like an obnoxious tourist, but sometimes I do go back through the pics on my phone by myself and just remember, I love it, so dont forget to take some, none of them are staged, or forced, most candid, mom reading to the boys, boys walking ahead together in the woods, son covered in food, son mid belly laugh, a babies smile, you just forget a lot and Im so grateful to have pics to remember those times, the candid pics, I would rather lose the entire contents of my home, than lose those pics. Congrats again! Caring individuals, responsible citizens, lifelong learners, world needs more of those.
Charlie Posted April 23 Posted April 23 Congratulations Saluki!!! Kids are the best thing in the world. We have 8-year old twin boys. We have so much fun together. Let the kid enjoy themself and give it a good environment for growing up/developing his talents. Let it try what it likes and relax yourself and enjoy it. Our garden is a big play ground with soccer field, trampolin, table-tennis, baskettball. So much depends on the "temperament" of the kid. The sleep deprivation is by far the hardest part, but you get your life back, year after year. My wife (44 years old) and me (50 years old) are trying to get a third kid. So enjoy the best times of your life.
RichardGibbons Posted April 23 Posted April 23 Congratulations! Above all, be kind. When they get emotional, your job isn't to stop them from being upset, but rather to help them to process their emotions. The emotions can be scary to small people, and if your reaction is to do anything you can to stop them, then you're basically saying, "These emotions are scary, and they're so scary that even I, an adult, can't deal with them, so you're right to be scared." Instead, you need to help them walk their way through their emotions--acknowledging them and validating them rather than dismissing them. If they're upset because they can't get that candy, then you can agree with them that it's both upsetting and frustrating that they can't have it, even though they want it a lot. Also, kids don't become well-adjusted independent adults as a result of parents forcing them to be independent. They become independent as a result of a strong attachment to the parents that gives them the foundation and confidence to explore independence on their own--the knowledge that they can take the risks of independent exploration because their parents will be there to support them when things get scary.
thowed Posted April 23 Posted April 23 16 hours ago, Marco Van Basten said: If you can afford it, hire as much help as you can - cleaning lady, housekeeper, nanny, get groceries delivered, etc... That way, you and your wife can be rested and enjoy every minute rather than be harried, exhausted and angry. We did shifts at night, I would take the 9 pm till 3 am shift, wife went to bed at 9 pm, and I would stay up working till 3 am, and then the wife would take over. Second the experiences, and nightly reading to the child. I read to my kids every evening, and I play soccer with my boys. Firstly, congrats! Secondly, I think the above is pretty spot on. It's obvious, but use money to reduce time spent on the boring stuff, and increase time spent with your kid. Especially when they're young, as when they get older, they will start to pull apart (as they should). Once they're at nursery/school, make sure you and your wife talk to as many people as possible, and set up 'playdates' with as many kids as possible. The earlier you make friendship networks the better, they'll be invaluable later on.
Milu Posted April 23 Posted April 23 Seems like a few fellow twin dads on the board. Identical twin girls for me, turning 5 next month. Best thing ever having kids. I'd echo most of the advice already mentioned, read to them, talk to them, do stupid things, keep them away from screens if you can. Don't be those parents who just give up and plonk an ipad in front of your kid when you are at a restaurant, don't be the parent who is pushing your kid on the swing with one hand, and staring at a phone in the other hand. Try to always have time for them if they come to you looking to acknowledgement, no matter how busy you are at work (I work from home, so get this a lot). Accept that you will slip up and make mistakes, just get back to being a great dad the next day. Try to be a good role model for them, they are watching and taking in everything. If you want them to grow up to eat healthy, then eat healthy food yourself, if you want them to be active, then live an active lifestyle. Try not to be a hypocrite. Anyway that's enough things that came to mind for me. Congrats and enjoy.
Kazid Posted April 23 Posted April 23 Congratulations Saluki! I have an almost 3 year old and a 3 month old, and I can say it's an often tiring but rewarding new adventure. You've put yourself in a great position to fully embrace this stage of life! Lots of great advice here, only thing I'd emphasize is there are difficult phases that seem like they never end, but they all do. "This too shall pass." Remember that during the hard times!
Errold Posted April 23 Posted April 23 Congrats! Definitely get some sleep when you can. That 2-4 year old stage is amazing. Mine are 6, 4, and one in the oven. Remember to record them dancing when they get to that age. Cutest thing ever! I have to believe the phrase "dance like no one is watching" comes from toddlers at this age. Take care of your heath too, either gym/home gym or something. I'm on the older end as well at 46 and have to stay in shape to keep up with them!
Longnose Posted April 23 Posted April 23 1 minute ago, Errold said: Remember to record them dancing when they get to that age. Cutest thing ever! I have to believe the phrase "dance like no one is watching" comes from toddlers at this age. Document this age as its so fun and doesnt come back. I have a hobby of making video of my vacations and such. So I have all these videos of my first set of twins at 2-4 that are so fun. They really like going back and watching them too. Kids like watching themselves. I am so grateful i made those videos as they age i will be able to go back and remember some of their best moments.
John Hjorth Posted April 23 Posted April 23 2 minutes ago, Longnose said: Document this age as its so fun and doesnt come back. I have a hobby of making video of my vacations and such. So I have all these videos of my first set of twins at 2-4 that are so fun. They really like going back and watching them too. Kids like watching themselves. I am so grateful i made those videos as they age i will be able to go back and remember some of their best moments. @Longnose, It reads as if you have more than one set of twins! -Christ, I get tired just thinking about how that would be! - - - o 0 o - - - @Saluki, Congratulations with the family extension! - Certainly proud and happy parents on the photo! - It's the beginning of a new charter in life for your both!
dipod Posted April 23 Posted April 23 Will echo what others have said here. Be patient and present. And also try to put him on a routine. Kids love routines. My wife uses a feed-wake-sleep system. Has worked like a charm for all our kiddos. Congrats man!
Longnose Posted April 23 Posted April 23 10 minutes ago, John Hjorth said: It reads as if you have more than one set of twins! -Christ, I get tired just thinking about how that would be! in the words of my deceased father in law. RIP. "You can sleep when you're dead." Yes, i have 2 sets of twins and a singleton in the middle. (life is fun but exhausting).
John Hjorth Posted April 23 Posted April 23 1 minute ago, Longnose said: in the words of my deceased father in law. RIP. "You can sleep when you're dead." Yes, i have 2 sets of twins and a singleton in the middle. (life is fun but exhausting). LOL! - Great humor!, @Longnose ! Kiddoes are a blessing!
nsx5200 Posted April 23 Posted April 23 Really happy for you. These are the big items that I remember: - When things get rough and nothing seems to go right, as long as everybody is safe, take a few minutes to reset. A few minutes of hunger/crying isn't going to be the end of the world. - Take the long view. It's hard to see it when you're fighting "fire" left and right, but on the grand scheme of things, a lot of things don't matter. It may seem like everything is 'work' right now, but when they get older, you'll miss it. So try to enjoy the 'work' in the mist of it. - Take lots of pictures. Even if you think it's enough, it won't be. - New challenges presents new opportunities. Use this new pathway to gain more insights into new areas you haven't looked at before. I bet you'll gain new perspective/insight into social media, as well as digital entertainment... You'll look at Meta and its family of social tools differently . You'll understand why Google Photo is such a beast.
Charlie Posted April 23 Posted April 23 I want to share some words of hope for couples that are not able to get kids naturally. My wife and me tried it about for 10 years and nothing worked. Then we tried it with help of the local hospital 3 times with an average success rate of 23%. It didn´t work. Then we changed to the most focused doctor in this area. I read about a success rate of 40%-50% with this specialised doctor. We paid about €5000 for the procedure. And after nine months we had healthy twins!!! With a lot of twins here, I bet some other had help from their doctor, too!?
Castanza Posted April 23 Posted April 23 On 4/22/2026 at 11:40 AM, Saluki said: As some of you who know me personally know, I became a first time dad last month. Fifty Five (double nickels) is a tough time to be doing all-nighters. I hear new dads in their 20s and 30s complain about it, but I could drink all night in my 30s and go to work the next day. I'm committed to winning the "World's Greatest Dad" championship. I don't know if it's like Boxing where there are lots of governing bodies (I see a lot of past champs with T-shirts), but I am committed to unifying the titles. So in that spirit, what is some piece of advice, or practice from your childhood upbringing that you remember about your dad and planned on using it yourself when you raised your children? Congratulations! We just welcomed our second into the world on April 20th as well so I'm right there with you haha. Advice for for the long nights...."They aren't giving you a hard time, they're having a hard time." Remember that when you're frustrated and exhausted...Otherwise welcome to the circus!
Longnose Posted April 23 Posted April 23 1 hour ago, Charlie said: With a lot of twins here, I bet some other had help from their doctor, too!? All 5 of mine (with 2 sets of twins were IVF)
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