rkbabang Posted March 5, 2020 Posted March 5, 2020 Son: "I was awarded the Leslie Nielsen award at school" Me: "What's that?" Son: "A big building with lots of kids"
DooDiligence Posted March 5, 2020 Posted March 5, 2020 Son: "I was awarded the Leslie Nielsen award at school" Me: "What's that?" Son: "A big building with lots of kids" I re-watched the Naked Gun recently. "Nice beaver" "Thanks, I just had him stuffed"
rkbabang Posted March 5, 2020 Posted March 5, 2020 Son: "I was awarded the Leslie Nielsen award at school" Me: "What's that?" Son: "A big building with lots of kids" I re-watched the Naked Gun recently. "Nice beaver" "Thanks, I just had him stuffed" Surely you can't be serious?
DooDiligence Posted March 5, 2020 Posted March 5, 2020 Son: "I was awarded the Leslie Nielsen award at school" Me: "What's that?" Son: "A big building with lots of kids" I re-watched the Naked Gun recently. "Nice beaver" "Thanks, I just had him stuffed" Surely you can't be serious? Don't call me Shirley. What can you make of this?
rkbabang Posted March 5, 2020 Posted March 5, 2020 Son: "I was awarded the Leslie Nielsen award at school" Me: "What's that?" Son: "A big building with lots of kids" I re-watched the Naked Gun recently. "Nice beaver" "Thanks, I just had him stuffed" Surely you can't be serious? Don't call me Shirley. What can you make of this? Yes. That as much as anything else led to my drinking problem. https://media.giphy.com/media/3oKHWBy6GFcLdEhH0Y/giphy.gif
Jurgis Posted March 6, 2020 Posted March 6, 2020 If you have elderly relatives suffering from Alzheimer's, dementia, or other debilitating diseases... give them a gift... send them on a cruise. :-X
Guest cherzeca Posted March 7, 2020 Posted March 7, 2020 Breaking news: USA Corona virus death toll rises to 11. Student with gun: "Hold my beer..."
JRM Posted March 7, 2020 Posted March 7, 2020 38% of Americans avoid Corona beer due to the coronavirus. There's no punchline...
muscleman Posted March 7, 2020 Posted March 7, 2020 My best joke is this. CDC official advising people not to touching their face while touching her own.
DooDiligence Posted March 7, 2020 Posted March 7, 2020 “I haven’t touched my face in weeks!” Trump joked. “I miss it.” www.politico.com/news/2020/03/04/trump-jokes-touching-face-coronavirus-121135
Guest cherzeca Posted March 7, 2020 Posted March 7, 2020 I appreciate these replies. yes the topic is non-PC but then humor is a treatment for melancholy not contentment
samwise Posted March 7, 2020 Posted March 7, 2020 Here is what the quant told me (more generally about pandemics). “I don’t believe in human extinction events. There is not one in our back test which covers all of human history.”
Read the Footnotes Posted March 8, 2020 Posted March 8, 2020 A few weeks ago people were saying "it's just a cold, it's just the flu, it's not like it's SARS." Actually, it is SARS. In case you haven't noticed the official name of the virus is SARS-CoV-2. So the next time someone tells you it's not SARS, you can say, "actually it is SARS. SARS-CoV-2, or simply SARS 2.0."
LC Posted March 10, 2020 Posted March 10, 2020 Coronavirus is like pasta. Asians invented it, but the Italians spread it.
rkbabang Posted March 10, 2020 Posted March 10, 2020 Coronavirus is like pasta. Asians invented it, but the Italians spread it.
rkbabang Posted March 10, 2020 Posted March 10, 2020 TEACHER: "Billy, if there are 5 birds on a fence and you shoot 1, how many birds are left?" BILLY: "None. The others fly away." TEACHER: "The answer is 4, but I like how you think." BILLY: "Can I ask you a question Mrs Smith?" TEACHER: "Sure Billy" BILLY: "If 3 women are eating ice cream and one is licking, one is biting, and one is sucking, which one is married?" TEACHER: <hesitantly> "The, Umm, one that is sucking?" BILLY: "The answer is the one wearing a wedding ring, but I like how you think."
LC Posted March 10, 2020 Posted March 10, 2020 Coronavirus is like pasta. Asians invented it, but the Italians spread it. France built a giant wall but coronavirus just went around it ;D ;D
Jurgis Posted March 10, 2020 Posted March 10, 2020 Coronavirus is like pasta. Asians invented it, but the Italians spread it. France USA built a giant wall but coronavirus just went around it ;D ;D Here, fixed that for you.
DooDiligence Posted March 10, 2020 Posted March 10, 2020 TEACHER: "Billy, if there are 5 birds on a fence and you shoot 1, how many birds are left?" BILLY: "None. The others fly away." TEACHER: "The answer is 4, but I like how you think." BILLY: "Can I ask you a question Mrs Smith?" TEACHER: "Sure Billy" BILLY: "If 3 women are eating ice cream and one is licking, one is biting, and one is sucking, which one is married?" TEACHER: <hesitantly> "The, Umm, one that is sucking?" BILLY: "The answer is the one wearing a wedding ring, but I like how you think." I like this kid.
DooDiligence Posted March 10, 2020 Posted March 10, 2020 Coronavirus is like pasta. Asians invented it, but the Italians spread it. France USA built a giant wall but coronavirus just went around it ;D ;D Here, fixed that for you. The wall is a figment of the GOP's imagination. ;)
bizaro86 Posted March 11, 2020 Posted March 11, 2020 1 week cruise, free with every annuity purchase!
Gregmal Posted March 12, 2020 Posted March 12, 2020 Got an email from Spirit Airlines today. It said: "Never a better time to fly" Reminded me of one of those old "wanna get away" commercials. Fun times.
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