Biggest regrets of the older posters here?

[LearningMachine]

1 hour ago, frommi said:

I watched a lot of interviews with Sinclair, the basic stuff is all fine. But he is deep into supplements, like Bryan Johnson. And for a reason, because they sell this stuff. You can spend millions on this with zero change on your longevity. >95% of people will not do the core stuff (like workouts/changing diet/stop smoking) and focus on the things that change little. Because the core stuff requires hard work and changing habits. Taking supplements/spending money is easy. But it will not make you live that much longer in isolation.

 

I agree with you on staying away from supplements.  Those parts of Sinclair's statements don't pass FRE 403 for me either. 

 

More basic stuff like intermittent fasting and eating ultra low glycemic index foods, and the underlying evidence from his experiments for these pass FRE 403 for me.  You can naturally do these basic things yourself with little risk and see the progress yourself over years as well.

Edited June 2 by LearningMachine

[cubsfan]

4 hours ago, sleepydragon said:

Does anyone has a good suggestion of YouTube video for daily strength training exercise? I never do any much exercise (except swimming and walking), but now I decided I will buy some dumbbells and start doing it

 

@sleepydragon  Here you go sleepy. I used these routines for about 3 years. Primarily dumbell based work outs. Suggestions: start very light and get the form down perfectly (that's key), take the sets down - if it says 5 sets, start with 2. Form is much more important than weight lifted. You will be able to take weight up soon enough.  Try to stay in the rep range he says. It's a great workout, because it will take you weeks/months to complete the full workout.  Don't overdue it, until you are acclimated to the volume. Where you see barbell - you can substitute dumbells, otherwise, skip the excercise. Good for a home gym or hotel stays. You will need rest days. 3 times a week will do nicely for the first few weeks. Alternating between upper body & lower body allows you to get a couple more weekly workouts in - if that is your goal.

 

This is a "limited equipment" workout - 1 workout per day - take your pick

 

The workout is also laid out in the comments section right below the video. I printed them out and kept a journal. Your choice.

 

Chest Workout: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZgCvsg0oB0

 

Arm Workout: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WIU98IA5rM  or

                        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqzIJR2mbUQ

 

Shoulder Workout: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9VmBdD4m5dE&t=6s

 

Back Workout: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8d8lIAGat0

 

 

Leg Workout: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SkakhpjsPX0&t=90s

 

 

Feel free to pm me if you need anything.

Edited June 2 by cubsfan

[sleepydragon]

40 minutes ago, cubsfan said:

 

@sleepydragon  Here you go sleepy. I used these routines for about 3 years. Primarily dumbell based work outs. Suggestions: start very light and get the form down perfectly (that's key), take the sets down - if it says 5 sets, start with 2. Form is much more important than weight lifted. You will be able to take weight up soon enough.  Try to stay in the rep range he says. It's a great workout, because it will take you weeks/months to complete the full workout.  Don't overdue it, until you are acclimated to the volume. Where you see barbell - you can substitute dumbells, otherwise, skip the excercise. Good for a home gym or hotel stays. You will need rest days. 3 times a week will do nicely for the first few weeks. Alternating between upper body & lower body allows you to get a couple more weekly workouts in - if that is your goal.

 

This is a "limited equipment" workout - 1 workout per day - take your pick

 

The workout is also laid out in the comments section right below the video. I printed them out and kept a journal. Your choice.

 

Chest Workout: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZgCvsg0oB0

 

Arm Workout: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WIU98IA5rM

 

Shoulder Workout: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9VmBdD4m5dE&t=6s

 

Back Workout: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8d8lIAGat0

 

 

Leg Workout: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SkakhpjsPX0&t=90s

 

 

Feel free to pm me if you need anything.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cubsfan, thank you!

[boilermaker75]

4 hours ago, Charlie said:

The mediterranean diet is probably one of the most recommended and researched way to eat and drink very healthy. I have this image on my desktop to eat and drink this way.

Don´t forget the red wine. 

 

Lisa Mosconi studies the effect of diet on brains. She sees a huge difference in brain MRIs by age 50 of people who have been on the Standard American Diet (SAD) and the Meditteranean diet,

 

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/excerpt-from-brain-food-by-lisa-mosconi-comparing-brains-on-different-diets/

[nsx5200]

For those that was able to 'retire early', any regrets not retiring earlier?

 

https://www.washingtonpost.com/books/2024/05/31/way-hermit-ken-smith-book-review/

"So what has he learned, in a lifetime alone? His opinions about his life decisions remain firm: “I’ve spent the majority of my life living outside the conventions of mainstream society, and I’ll tell you what I think is weird, and it ain’t the hermit. It’s how entire generations of people have been conned into believing that there is only one way to live, and that’s on-grid, in deepening debt, working on products you’ll probably never use, to line the pockets of people you’ll never meet, just so you might be able to get enough money together to buy a load of crap you don’t need, or, if you’re lucky, have a holiday that takes you to a place, like where I live, for a week of the happiness I feel every day.”

[james22]

On 6/3/2024 at 11:03 AM, nsx5200 said:

For those that was able to 'retire early', any regrets not retiring earlier?

 

Sure, once I realized time was the constraint, not money.

 

You can't do all the things you might want to do because there simply isn't enough time in the week.

 

Want to fly, boat, drive, golf, gym, run, read, drink, travel, etc.? Anything you do means you aren't doing something else.

 

And once you realize that, you realize most things you like doing are about equally fun.

 

Makes it easy to budget your money by doing the less expensive things (reading and running rather than flying and/or boating). 

[james22]

But there is a dark side to wellness, which I always, for shorthand, thought of as political: getting fit makes you more rightwing.

 

The mechanism is incredibly simple: you embark on this voyage of self-improvement, and more or less immediately see results. You feel stronger and more energetic, probably your mood lifts, and pretty soon you think you are master of your own destiny.

 

You’re still not, by the way: destiny does not care about your step count. But until that fact catches up with you, which it may never, there you are, high on self-righteousness. You can tell this has happened to you when you start inhaling performatively, like the hero of an Ayn Rand novel.

 

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/article/2024/jun/03/getting-fit-could-turn-you-into-a-rightwing-jerk

[cubsfan]

12 minutes ago, james22 said:

But there is a dark side to wellness, which I always, for shorthand, thought of as political: getting fit makes you more rightwing.

 

The mechanism is incredibly simple: you embark on this voyage of self-improvement, and more or less immediately see results. You feel stronger and more energetic, probably your mood lifts, and pretty soon you think you are master of your own destiny.

 

You’re still not, by the way: destiny does not care about your step count. But until that fact catches up with you, which it may never, there you are, high on self-righteousness. You can tell this has happened to you when you start inhaling performatively, like the hero of an Ayn Rand novel.

 

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/article/2024/jun/03/getting-fit-could-turn-you-into-a-rightwing-jerk

 

Oh my god - what an article. Taking control of your life turns you into a jerk.  

What a fucking loser moron!

[nsx5200]

14 minutes ago, james22 said:

 

Sure, once I realized time was the constraint, not money.

 

You can't do all the things you might want to do because there simply isn't enough time in the week.

 

Want to fly, boat, drive, golf, gym, run, read, drink, travel, etc.? Anything you do means you aren't doing something else.

 

And once you realize that, you realize most things you like doing are about equally fun.

 

Makes it easy to budget your money by doing the less expensive things (reading and running rather than flying and/or boating). 

 

TYSM for your insights.  I'm still stuck in the conventional job mindset, and need to nudge myself to cross that threshold.  At I think I have an exit plan in place... whether I take that leap of faith and execute it may be a different beast.

 

In regards to being "righteousness", my TLDR version is that most people are steered into default decisions, and we should not fault them too much for them.

 

IMHO, the system has a huge influence on how people behave, based on the results from the Stanford Prison Experiment.  But ultimately, people have the final choice.  For example, if people are born into a poor family/system with few resources to hoist them into middle class, it doesn't mean they can't work harder to better situate themselves.  It does mean they almost have to work harder than most to get at to average.  The same thing can be seen with food choices as well.  When grocery stores are 80% filled with processed food, somebody who's trying to eat healthy must work harder to figure out what is actually healthier.  We see it everywhere in life that systems pushes the mass to do certain things, and most people do them without thinking about it.  It takes effort to actually figure out what is optimal for themselves.

[cubsfan]

^^ Working harder than others and paying the price for success teaches you so much about yourself. Don't believe the naysayers. It's generally worth the price.

[Jaygo]

I’m 39 so likely smack in the middle of the age cohort. 
 

Very few regrets but one I do regret is not having a third or fourth child. I could go on and on about wisdom that I’ve gotten but honestly I just wish I didn’t get snipped when I did and had one more kid. 
 

we made a hyper rational decision and frankly I wish emotions had won the day. 
I remember 6 years ago thinking another would be too hard, too expensive. We would need a bigger car!!  Well now my youngest is seven and he and his sister are the loves of my life. I will never have this feeling again and frankly I’m greedy for another. 
 

I guess I’d say that true wealth is family not finance. 
 

both are important but the latter don’t mean shit without the former and the former is way more important than the latter. 
 

 

[Charlie]

9 hours ago, james22 said:

Sure, once I realized time was the constraint, not money.

 

You can't do all the things you might want to do because there simply isn't enough time in the week.

 

Want to fly, boat, drive, golf, gym, run, read, drink, travel, etc.? Anything you do means you aren't doing something else.

 

And once you realize that, you realize most things you like doing are about equally fun.

 

Makes it easy to budget your money by doing the less expensive things (reading and running rather than flying and/or boating)

 

james22, I do also a lot of reading and running (with some sprints in it). But also do a little bit diversity like riding a bike, swimming or trampolin. It increases the fun. 

 

4 hours ago, Jaygo said:

Very few regrets but one I do regret is not having a third or fourth child. I could go on and on about wisdom that I’ve gotten but honestly I just wish I didn’t get snipped when I did and had one more kid. 
 

we made a hyper rational decision and frankly I wish emotions had won the day. 
I remember 6 years ago thinking another would be too hard, too expensive. We would need a bigger car!!  Well now my youngest is seven and he and his sister are the loves of my life. I will never have this feeling again and frankly I’m greedy for another. 
 

I guess I’d say that true wealth is family not finance. 
 

both are important but the latter don’t mean shit without the former and the former is way more important than the latter. 

 

Jaygo, I have two boys, twins, 6 years old, the joy and stress of my life. 

My mother who has 5 kids used to say with the third kid comes your own neglect.

I´m 48 years now and I feel too old for a third kid. With 39 years you can have more kids,

but it could be a little bit stressful, especially the third one. 

[Paarslaars]

I'm 36 and we are also wondering if we should go for a third child. Due to a genetic condition of the oldest she does require more work so I'm already starting to feel my own neglect.  Main problem is sleep though, with that comes the need for sugar to stay awake and that makes it all worse...

 

If they would all just sleep nicely at night, a third would be an easy decision. But I'm not counting on that... ^^

[formthirteen]

10 hours ago, james22 said:

But there is a dark side to wellness, which I always, for shorthand, thought of as political: getting fit makes you more rightwing.

 

The mechanism is incredibly simple: you embark on this voyage of self-improvement, and more or less immediately see results. You feel stronger and more energetic, probably your mood lifts, and pretty soon you think you are master of your own destiny.

 

You’re still not, by the way: destiny does not care about your step count. But until that fact catches up with you, which it may never, there you are, high on self-righteousness. You can tell this has happened to you when you start inhaling performatively, like the hero of an Ayn Rand novel.

 

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/article/2024/jun/03/getting-fit-could-turn-you-into-a-rightwing-jerk

 

This is very logical and the correlation is evident (according to the author). If you’re fit and ripped, you’re a right-wing lone wolf who needs nobody's help. If you can't touch your toes, you’re a left-winger who loves social safety nets and free hugs.

 

Spoiler

 

Regrets not having more kids.

[Blugolds]

4 hours ago, Charlie said:

 

 

Jaygo, I have two boys, twins, 6 years old, the joy and stress of my life. 

My mother who has 5 kids used to say with the third kid comes your own neglect.

I´m 48 years now and I feel too old for a third kid. With 39 years you can have more kids,

but it could be a little bit stressful, especially the third one. 

 

Also have 2 twin boys, 14mo, they sleep well through the night since about 10 mo old, but man...the thought of starting all over again is A LOT...to put it mildly. I couldnt imagine it. I was at Target the other day with both the boys, a guy came up to me and made a comment about them being twins, and cute etc and I said, yup they can be a handful...he said his sister also had twins, and that they decided to have one more, she got pregnant with...gulp....TRIPLETS. No joke.

 

I couldnt tell if he was expressing his sentiment that he knows twins are a different ball game, or if it was a friendly reminder that a next one doesnt always mean a single and that things can always be more hectic LOL. 

 

The thought of having 5, or even 4 kids under the age of 2 running around the house....

 

Even without considering finances, logistics, childcare, diapers etc, I think our household is about maxed as it is, even with help from an Au Pair. We both have demanding careers that consume a significant amount of time, even after trying to prioritize family/home over work as much as possible, in some instances depending on roles, its tough. 

 

To those who would like to enter back into the fray..I'll share why my mother asked me when I was considering having kids for the first time...she said, "what are you more afraid of, having a kid (or a 3rd in your case) or being 60 yrs old and the regret of not having one (or the 3rd)".  Its a big step, but when I thought about it, if I pictured myself at 60, sitting on a pile of money with nobody to share life with or mentor, personally I would feel like I missed out. 

 

Even with all the hard work I still feel that way. I will say that the fear of being 60 and not having 3+ vs the fear of being 60 with just the 2 I have now, not the same sentiment, personally Im content with the current roster. 

 

 

[Gregmal]

Yea my wife and I were 100% content with 2. Third was not expected but happened. Wouldnt change it for the world but does kinda delay the whole getting your life back to normal phase. Basically the 9 months before and after birth the wife is a nut job, and then til the kid is 2 years old or so theyre totally helpless and time consuming. So its a lot of sacrifice. Mine are 3/5/7 now and life is good. 

[Ulti]

12 minutes ago, Gregmal said:

Mine are 3/5/7 now and life is good. 

Lull before the storm… teenagers.

[Gregmal]

LOL yea almost certainly. 

[longlake95]

have a third. When your old you'll look back and be glad you did.

[rkbabang]

I'm in my early 50s and there isn't a lot I regret. 

 

One regret is not taking better care of my health when I was younger.  I became obese in my mid-20s and didn't really change that until I was almost 40. 

 

Two, was having a long commute early on.  For the 1st 15 years of my career I was on the road about 3 hrs per day getting to and from the office.  I should have moved closer to my work. 

 

Those are the main regrets, basically the fist 15 years after graduating college I got fat and drove too much.  Other than that I wouldn't change much even if I could.  I'm happy I got married young (because I found the right woman) and had kids young.  I love my family and my career.  I'm happy I got into investing early, but was still young enough in 2000 when the tech crash happened that I didn't lose all that much.  I of course have investing regrets that I try not to think about.  I bought Netflix very early on at a split adjusted price of under $2 and sold after a triple.  Also in 2011 I was reading the Bitcoin Talk message boards and wanted to buy some right around when it first hit $1.  I looked into it and decided it was too much trouble and a little sketchy to wire money to some Japanese company called Mt Gox. I decided to look into mining it instead, but I was busy, so I put it off.  I never ended up mining it and didn't end up buying any until a few years later when it was 200 times more expensive. And even then I didn't buy as much as I could/should have.

 

[Xerxes]

12 minutes ago, rkbabang said:

was having a long commute early on.  For the 1st 15 years of my career I was on the road about 3 hrs per day getting to and from the office.  I should have moved closer to my work. 

 

Pre-Covid I was commuting 4 hours per day. Driving to train station, then train, then metro and then bus. And doing the same in reverse in the evening.  
 

I used the time to read. But after the workday, I could not do anything else as I was too tired when I transited back home.
 

I refused to move however until a blackswan “world event” brought work to my home. WFH during Covid and now hybrid. 
 

lots of flexibility now. 
 

Wrong lesson learned: stubbornness pays off 

[ValueArb]

17 hours ago, james22 said:

But there is a dark side to wellness, which I always, for shorthand, thought of as political: getting fit makes you more rightwing.

 

The mechanism is incredibly simple: you embark on this voyage of self-improvement, and more or less immediately see results. You feel stronger and more energetic, probably your mood lifts, and pretty soon you think you are master of your own destiny.

 

You’re still not, by the way: destiny does not care about your step count. But until that fact catches up with you, which it may never, there you are, high on self-righteousness. You can tell this has happened to you when you start inhaling performatively, like the hero of an Ayn Rand novel.

 

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/article/2024/jun/03/getting-fit-could-turn-you-into-a-rightwing-jerk

 

As long as you take Beta Force you'll be fine.

 

 

[rkbabang]

13 minutes ago, Xerxes said:

Pre-Covid I was commuting 4 hours per day. Driving to train station, then train, then metro and then bus. And doing the same in reverse in the evening.  
 

I used the time to read. But after the workday, I could not do anything else as I was too tired when I transited back home.
 

I refused to move however until a blackswan “world event” brought work to my home. WFH during Covid and now hybrid. 
 

lots of flexibility now. 
 

Wrong lesson learned: stubbornness pays off 

 

I lived south of Boston and worked North of Boston. I would get up at 4:30am, leave my house about 5am and get to work about 6:10am (not too bad).  Unfortunately in the afternoon I'd leave work about 3:30-4pm and not get home until 5:30-6pm (sometimes later).  It was brutal and took a lot of time away from my family.  And like you said, I was too tired to do anything during the week other than work and commute.  In 2011 I changed jobs which would have added another 25 miles to my commute further north so I decided to move to NH so that I would have a 20min commute.  That was life changing.  Of course when COVID hit I worked from home which was even better.  Then in 2022 I got my company to transfer me to the NH office and now I work from home 3 days per week and have a 10min commute the other 2 days.  AND I no longer pay MA state income taxes, so life is good.

 

 

 

[ValueArb]

Quote

Chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken.

Warren Buffett

 

As a 60 year old man thats my #1, probably the most important quote I've ever read for guiding how you live your life. That said I struggle mightily with poor and suboptimal habits, but I spend a lot more time thinking about them and I've eliminated the worst. 

 

The second piece of advice is always live beneath your means, and always save money. Again, something I've struggled with as I'm divorced and starting over with half of my portfolio in her name.

 

I used to play high stakes poker with an 86 year old friend who was a brick-layer (huge strong hands and fingers) who owned properties through out Phoenix area, including a mall in downtown Sedona. He moved to Phoenix in his 20s to get out of the cold weather and economy of Detroit, Michigan, and worked mostly skilled labor jobs. Him and his wife would walk around and would bid whenever they saw a cheap property that they thought they could make something of. Just from saving as much of his wages as possible and having his canny wife work the properties they built an empire. Rest in peace, Mel.

 

Last piece of advice is maintain an active lifestyle or workout regime, because once you let it go too far, its far harder to get your body back to a healthy when you are older. I was a college wrestler in excellent shape, 5'7" walking around at 145 lbs all lean muscle. By the time I was in my 40s I had gotten up to 170 lbs, and still ran a few times a month but otherwise didn't stick with any workout program long. When I got divorced at age 56 I weighed 190 lbs, and let depression run my weight up to my peak of 208 lbs. It even got scary during COVID when I realized that I was wheezing just walking around.

 

So then I started to want to get back in shape, but could no longer run because of a torn tendon in my ankle. Surgery and rehab took forever, and stalled when my hip started to ache constantly. Turned out I needed a new hip, which I tried to put off unwisely because when I finally succumbed to it the surgery and rehab was a piece of cake and I could finally walk and ride my bike without pain. Only then did I really commit to working out every day, and trying to improve my terrible diet*. Mainly I've been doing hot yoga every day, mixed with regular weightlifting and occasional long bike rides.

 

I lost about 25 lbs my first 9 months, then tore both tendons and labrum in my right shoulder 6 months ago, which also led to a swollen biceps tendon that aches regularly. At first I said, that's it, I can't keep working out until its fixed, its too hard. My doctor said surgery wasn't warranted, put me in PT for 6 weeks, and said the bicep will either heal or rupture, either way it will feel better after. He told me working out wasn't going to make things worse, so I went back to yoga every day, weighlifting before, and he was right. I think the shoulder and bicep are improving, and I'm back to only one rest day a week. Lots of ice and heat help too, and occasionally tylenol.

 

After 15 months of hard hard work,  I am now 174 lbs, with a lot more lean body mass (maybe 15% body fat?), so probably within 5-10 lbs of my ideal. My resting heart rate has dropped from 70 to 48, my waist has shrunk so much that when I buy smaller waisted shorts they are too loose within a few months. 

 

My trick is every day I think about skipping my workouts, and then I just tell myself I can always skip tomorrow, or tomorrow I might be forced to skip because of other conflicts so just get this one out of the way. On the days I dread going into the 100 degree heat of hot yoga or make excuses like maybe I don't feel great, I just tell myself to just go, you can always just lay on my mat but just go. So I always go and I always end up giving it my max effort. Just go and good things will happen.

 

Figure out good workouts and physical activities that you enjoy enough to do regularly, and stick with them and when you reach my age you hopefully won't be deep in the hole that I dug myself and be forced to dig out at the same time your body starts falling apart. 

 

* One terrible dietary habit I developed that undid a great habit the kept me relatively slim for decades was McDonalds for breakfast. In my 20s-40s I almost always started the day with a healthy high fiber low calorie cereal, but when work was stressful and I needed to get up early and beat everyone into the office to get a key project done I'd just go through the Mcdonalds drive through with a big coke and eat it at my desk.

 

That established a nasty correlation where I associated McD's breakfast with my most productive and happy work experiences. And as I aged whenever I felt the need to bear down and work hard, I start to jonze for McDonalds breakfast to kick off the process. So by the time I got divorced I was so depressed every morning that I just defaulted to  picking up breakfast at McDs as it made me feel better. I'm on the way to breaking this chain, but its very tentative, any urgent appointment/work in the morning and suddenly a bowl of healthy cereal doesn't feel like its enough. 

 

So back to #1. Be careful what habits and feedback loops you create, they are very hard to undo.

[nsx5200]

1 hour ago, longlake95 said:

have a third. When your old you'll look back and be glad you did.

Just curious.  Why the third?  Trying to understand if there's something magical about the third that you're not getting with two.