If you were a pizza delivery man, how would you benefit from scissors?

[Gamecock-YT]

One of the top oddball job interview questions of the year. The question is for becoming a Specialist at Apple.

 

Here is how the glassdoor people responded: http://www.glassdoor.com/Interview/If-you-were-a-pizza-deliveryman-how-would-you-benefit-from-scissors-QTN_433576.htm

 

 

what would you say?

[writser]

Hah, some suggestions: http://www.informationweek.com/mobile/mobile-business/16-stupid-tech-job-interview-questions-show-your-snark/d/d-id/1113474

[ZenaidaMacroura]

I would counter with: If you were an AAPL equityholder, how would you benefit from cash of $142.77/share?

[yadayada]

I would stab them in the throat and take the money AND the pizza. Win win. And it shows you have the right mentality to become a top level manager.

[DoddDisciple]

I would stab them in the throat and take the money AND the pizza. Win win. And it shows you have the right mentality to become a top level manager.

 

Perfect answer :)

[rkbabang]

"So I could clip articles out of the newspaper about the price of tea in China, because that would be as relevant to my job as the scissors."

 

Or maybe,

 

"If I was delivering pizza in a stupid-assed state like California, carrying a large pair of scissors might be my only viable and still legal means of defending myself in such a high risk job."

 

[yadayada]

Or you could say, 'I would come here and stab you in the throat with it for asking stupid questions like that'.

 

I wonder if you would get hired then. It does show you are willing to take risks. And have violent tendencies. Maybe you get hired to 'motivate' their slave army at fox con.

[Uccmal]

Oh, if only.  I did a Toastmasters speech years ago and played the interviewer asking real questions I had heard.  I would then flip around the table and answer the question the way I really wanted. 

 

Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 

ans.  Not working at this company you dumb f--k.

 

true story:  In the nasty 90s I had an interview with Weyerhauser for a position in Kamloops BC.  The interview was in Toronto.  The job was maybe a 50 g per year job.  I asked the guys why they were coming to Toronto to interview when BC was in a vicious recession?  The said they were interviewing nearly 50 people in Kamloops, Vancouver, and Toronto.  After carefully calculating my odds of getting the job I actually said to them:  How can you possible make a decision when you have interviewed 50 people?  ans.  we want to get the best candidate for the job?  Q? are you guys for real? 

 

Needless to say I improved the odds for the other 49 candidates.  I also have carefully avoided investing in Weyerhauser ever since. 

 

Another lady thought she was being real smart once said to me:  I have these brand new behavioural based questions I am going to ask you.  I am pretty sure if you saw my facial expressions it would have looked like this  ::) . 

 

I could go on.  I had 50 some odd interviews in the 90s recession in Canada. 

 

One major reason I decided to become independently wealthy. 

[james22]

I believe in the discipline of mastering the best that other people have ever figured out. I don't believe in just sitting down and trying to dream it all up yourself. Nobody's that smart. Charlie Munger

[SharperDingaan]

Stab the tires of all my competitors, & add $2 onto my delivery charge!

  ...... now do I have the job, & where do I need to send my people.

 

SD

[Gamecock-YT]

Stab the tires of all my competitors, & add $2 onto my delivery charge!

  ...... now do I have the job, & where do I need to send my people.

 

SD

 

That's solid. Better than my idea of cutting coupons for the customers.

[Palantir]

It's for Apple?

 

I would use the scissors to cut the pizza and make it 15% thinner and 20% lighter.  ;D

[ERICOPOLY]

I would take  a slice out of every pizza, cutting the remaining slices so that they fit back together in a perfect circular shape.

 

Then I'd reassemble those slices I stole into new pizzas and sell them for money on the side.  Or just sell pizza by the slice out of the back of the car.

[VAL9000]

Use the scissors to vent the box and keep the pizza from getting steamed up and chewy.

 

Inspiration:

http://www.wired.com/design/2014/01/huh-the-best-designed-pizza-box-is-from-india/

 

 

[LC]

I'd sell the pair of scissors because I have one at home that works perfectly well.

[rkbabang]

<looking around scared>

"How the hell did you know? 

I didn't even list Domino's on my work history & my lawyer said that because I was 17 and a half at the time that all record of the scissor incident would be sealed!"

<hands shaking> 

"Will I have access to scissors at Apple?"

<big grin>

 

[constructive]

I would take  a slice out of every pizza, cutting the remaining slices so that they fit back together in a perfect circular shape.

 

Then I'd reassemble those slices I stole into new pizzas and sell them for money on the side.  Or just sell pizza by the slice out of the back of the car.

 

Scissors + Banach-Tarski = free pizza!

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Banach%E2%80%93Tarski_paradox

[ERICOPOLY]

Or I suppose just clip a piece off of every green pepper -- then sell chopped green peppers by the pound.  That might be easier.

 

I think you'd want to ask what type of scissors -- some have wiggly edges for cutting irregular "lines".  Some are better for cutting herbs versus crust.

 

Some have rounded tips and aren't suitable for combat.

[Orange]

I would take a slice out of the next pizza I deliver, and replace it with the scissors. If the customer complains, I'll point out that technically a pair of scissors is worth more than a slice of pizza, so they are getting a pretty good deal. Then I'll use the slice of pizza I took to lure a neighborhood dog into my house, and keep it there for some time. The owner will eventually realize the dog is gone, and then they will post a reward for whomever finds it. That's when I'll return the dog, tell them I found it (make up a highly detailed, but mostly believable backstory), and collect the reward. I'll use the reward money to buy as many new scissors as I can buy. Then I'll repeat this process over and over again with each new scissor I buy, compounding my scissors by eventually turning each new scissor into hundreds of new scissors, and turning those hundreds of new scissors into thousands. After a while (a few months), I'll own every scissor in North America, and that's when the fun REALLY begins.