DynamicPerception

I usually don't get too concerned about things that have been sent to me via mass mailing but I'm sending this one to everyone because I think this is important enough to let you know that this site exists. YOU WILL PROBABLY FORWARD TO YOUR FRIENDS FOR THEIR INFO... Topic: Driver Licence Information A lot of people are very concerned about this! Especially the accuracy of information. Did you know that you can see anyone's drivers license using the internet, including your own? It's an American based site, but it also links into Canada. I just searched for my licence, and there it was, picture and all. Where it asks what state - put your city and province. Make sure you leave a space after your city. This was something I didn't know you could do. I'm not sure I like this info out there for anyone to access. What happened to the "THE PRIVACY ACT"? Check it out http://www.license.shorturl.com/

IT CAN BE HARD KEEPING A STRAIGHT FACE AS A COURT REPORTER These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. 1) ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said , 'Where am I, Cathy?' ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! __________________________________________________________________________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. __________________________________________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. __________________________________________________________________________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? __________________________________________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo? WITNESS: We both do. ATTORNEY: Voodoo? WITNESS: We do.. ATTORNEY: You do? WITNESS: Yes, voodoo. __________________________________________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? __________________________________________________________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ. __________________________________________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you shitting me? __________________________________________________________________________ ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Getting laid __________________________________________________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children, right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? __________________________________________________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death.. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Take a guess. __________________________________________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male. __________________________________________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. __________________________________________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All of them ... The live ones put up too much of a fight. __________________________________________________________________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral ... _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? ______________________________________ And last: ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

Children Writing About the Ocean... 1) - This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6) 2) - Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6) 3) - If you are surrounded by ocean, you are an island. If you don't have ocean all round you, you are incontinent. (age 8) 4) - Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend any more. (Kyie, age 6) 5) - A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy, age 8) 6) - My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men, a woman and pots and comes back with crabs. (Millie, age 6) 7) - When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating beans. (William, age 7) 8) - Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher, age 7) 9) - On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water fired right up her big fat ass.. (Julie, age 7) 10) - My dad was a sailor on the ocean and knows all about the ocean. What he doesn't know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom. (James, age 7)

These are classified ads, which were actually placed in U.K. Newspapers: FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old, Hateful little bastard. Bites! FREE PUPPIES 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog. FREE PUPPIES. Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd. Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound. JOINING NUDIST COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer £100. WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE. Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie. And the WINNER is... FOR SALE BY OWNER. Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition, £200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything. (Statement of the Century) Thought from the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker--Billy Connolly. "If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, How come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?" Children Are Quick TEACHER: Why are you late? STUDENT: Class started before I got here. TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables. TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?' GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L' TEACHER: No, that's wrong GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it. (I Love this child) TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? DONALD: H I J K L M N O. TEACHER: What are you talking about? DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O. TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. WINNIE: Me! TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty? GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.' MILLIE: I is. TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.' MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.' TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him? LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand..... TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook. TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.. Did you copy his? CLYDE: No, sir. It's the same dog. (I want to adopt this kid!!!) TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? HAROLD: A teacher.

dougishere, good one! As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the Kentucky back country. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn't stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play. The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I've never played before for this homeless man. And as I played 'Amazing Grace,' the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full. As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "I never seen nothin' like that before and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years." Apparently I'm still lost....

writser, funny stuff! This is the actual radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. Radio conversation released by the chief of naval operations, 10-10-95. CANADIANS: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision. AMERICANS: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision. CANADIANS: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision. AMERICANS: This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course. CANADIANS: No, I say again, you divert YOUR course. AMERICANS: This is the Aircraft Carrier US LINCOLN, the second largest ship in the United States Atlantic Fleet. We are accompanied with three Destroyers, three Cruisers and numerous support vessels. I DEMAND that you change your course 15 degrees north. I say again, that's one-five degrees north, or counter-measures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship. CANADIANS: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels . After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?' The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, 'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, Given that you are blind, that you should know five things: 1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat. 2. The bouncer is a blonde girl. 3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate. 4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter. 5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler. Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy. Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?' The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, 'No ... not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.'

Interesting stuff!

Scanning through this thread I see no mention of "Burger Priest". Triple AAA meat and great flavour.

He likes Prem's FIH-U as a long pick at the end of the 8 minute video. Thanks for posting.

What a grouch. He's probably just jealous of the guy's ROI.

rkbabang, Nice little cottage you have there.

TORONTO, ONTARIO--(Marketwired - Jan. 31, 2014) - Fairfax Financial Holdings Limited (TSX:FFH)(TSX:FFH.U) will hold a conference call at 8:30 a.m. Eastern Time on Friday, February 14, 2014 to discuss its 2013 year-end results which will be announced after the close of markets on Thursday, February 13 and will be available at that time on its website www.fairfax.ca. The call, consisting of a presentation by the company followed by a question period, may be accessed at (800) 857-9641 (Canada and U.S.) or 1 (517) 308-9408 (International) with the passcode "Fairfax". A replay of the call will be available from shortly after the termination of the call until 5:00 p.m. Eastern Time on Friday, February 28, 2014. The replay may be accessed at (800) 627-0199 (Canada and U.S.) or 1 (203) 369-3299 (International).

Gio my apologies. I'm Canadian, Eh!

This is funny… $380 is exactly my price target for adding more FFH! ;) Cheers, Gio Just over a week ago you mentioned the above. Care to share why you changed your mind?

Investopedia explains 'Ex-Date' This is the date on which the seller, and not the buyer, of a stock will be entitled to a recently announced dividend. The ex-date is usually two business days before the record date. It is indicated in newspaper listings with an x.

Ex-Div Date: 01/16/2014

Great video, great man. Prem was very lucky have him as a friend. I'm glad you posted this video and glad that I took the time to view it. Thanks ps. I always find it interesting when poker and investing are linked.

+1

As always straightforward and understandable for the layman. Thanks for posting.

Its hard to believe what some people expect. Prem will be the first to tell you that there are no guarantees. You have to think for yourself and make your bet.

A wise man once said "You might want to look tactically at FFH, over the next 2-3 months" and I agree.

Kraven, glad to see you're bringing in the international specialists. I'll sleep better tonight. Very funny.

Thanks for posting, he seems like a good guy.

A chance to buy would be nice.