Most important investment of all… kids

[Sweet]

Whether your own children, or your nephews / nieces, or whatever, in my view they are the only investment that really matters.

 

I know that many on the board have cool things they do with their kids.  Would be great if you could share some of those things as ideas for others.

 

I know others are thinking about how to teach their kids about finance, and I’ve seen it in other threads.

 

Some of you also have challenges with kids in your life and this might be a place to speak about that.

 

 

 

[Sweet]

Part of the reason for me posting this thread, in addition to hearing all the cool things people are doing with their kids, is that I have one boy who will be four in the next month who doesn’t speak.  He knows words, occasionally says words (animals, numbers etc) but he doesn’t really use words to communicate - he’ll take my hand and show me what he wants instead.

 

He’s clearly very intelligent, understands a lot of things I say, and has an unusual memory and eye for detail which is well beyond his peers, but obviously well behind with verbal and communication skills.  

 

The biggest issues with his non-speaking is the low expectations of others, and others who hint at certain diagnoses.  It’s also going to be a problem when he entered more formal education in the next 18 months - if he isn’t speaking by then.

 

I was wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience and what advice they might offer.

[73 Reds]

42 minutes ago, Sweet said:

Whether your own children, or your nephews / nieces, or whatever, in my view they are the only investment that really matters.

 

I know that many on the board have cool things they do with their kids.  Would be great if you could share some of those things as ideas for others.

 

I know others are thinking about how to teach their kids about finance, and I’ve seen it in other threads.

 

Some of you also have challenges with kids in your life and this might be a place to speak about that.

 

 

 

My kids are older but my wife and I always invite them on our trips abroad, which they usually accept (go figure).  One of them also had a speech impediment when he was young but our Pediatrician never advised us to do anything formal about it since he was otherwise a smart, energetic, highly motivated kid.  Still is, and though in hindsight we wish that we'd have taken him to a specialist, he manages OK but it takes more effort than it probably should on his part.

[Parsad]

43 minutes ago, Sweet said:

Part of the reason for me posting this thread, in addition to hearing all the cool things people are doing with their kids, is that I have one boy who will be four in the next month who doesn’t speak.  He knows words, occasionally says words (animals, numbers etc) but he doesn’t really use words to communicate - he’ll take my hand and show me what he wants instead.

 

He’s clearly very intelligent, understands a lot of things I say, and has an unusual memory and eye for detail which is well beyond his peers, but obviously well behind with verbal and communication skills.  

 

The biggest issues with his non-speaking is the low expectations of others, and others who hint at certain diagnoses.  It’s also going to be a problem when he entered more formal education in the next 18 months - if he isn’t speaking by then.

 

I was wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience and what advice they might offer.

 

My cousin's daughter is extremely active, precocious and playful.  At about 3, some of us recognized her verbal skills were progressing slower than other children in the family of the same age.  She understood perfectly fine, but at times would get very agitated/frustrated when communicating and playing with other children.  As she entered pre-school, the educators there noticed similar issues.  Her Mom wanted to get her assessed, but her father and grandmother who were more old school and didn't want her to stand out from other children, were resistant.  Eventually, they had to do it because she was falling behind the other children.  Once they received the assessment in kindergarten, she is on the spectrum but I don't know all of the details yet, but I do know they were immensely relieved.  They could at least find the right assistance with private educators that could help her to keep up with the public school children she was in the same class with and had become friends with.  

 

Now I have no idea if there is anything that suggests your child needs to be assessed.  Only you can make that judgement call with your spouse.  But if any part of you feels like you don't want to expose your child to that type of assessment yet, I would take heart in knowing that they will not assess your son and diagnose him with anything unless the assessment indicates something.  At that point, you and your spouse can decide what the best route is for your son and your family.

 

I also know of some children that develop verbal/reading skills later...so it certainly isn't anything to panic over.  Just watch your son, how he interacts, and if you feel that an assessment may be a good idea, it's ok to get one done.  It has zero reflection on him, you or your spouse.  My nephew spoke early and often...boy that kid loves a conversation even to today.  But he was very slow to learn to read unlike his younger sister, even though the whole family read to him all of the time.  He went into kindergarten only knowing the alphabet, numbers and very rudimentary reading like "cat", "dog", etc.  Next thing we know, by the end of the year, he was reading everything he could get his hands on and his ability to recognize and pronounce words jumped a couple of grade levels.  By the end of grade 1, he was reading above a grade 4 comprehension level! 

 

Today he's a voracious reader...unfortunately, most of it done on an iPad these days...but he's reading non-stop.  He plays hockey, is working on his black belt in Tae Kwon Do, loves steak and any protein he can get his hands on, can be a bit cocky at times, but is incredibly loving and empathetic, and will talk your ear off about everything from sports to politics, his future, trying to make the NHL, being the next Elon Musk (God no!), and plays video games!

 

Cheers!

[thepupil]

1 hour ago, Sweet said:

Part of the reason for me posting this thread, in addition to hearing all the cool things people are doing with their kids, is that I have one boy who will be four in the next month who doesn’t speak.  He knows words, occasionally says words (animals, numbers etc) but he doesn’t really use words to communicate - he’ll take my hand and show me what he wants instead.

 

He’s clearly very intelligent, understands a lot of things I say, and has an unusual memory and eye for detail which is well beyond his peers, but obviously well behind with verbal and communication skills.  

 

The biggest issues with his non-speaking is the low expectations of others, and others who hint at certain diagnoses.  It’s also going to be a problem when he entered more formal education in the next 18 months - if he isn’t speaking by then.

 

I was wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience and what advice they might offer.

 

1. I didn't really talk until i was 4 and was reading at a college level by 6th grade (alas! my relative intelligence / achievements plateaued early). I let my sister do all the yapping for me. this likely comes as a surprise to many here on COBF as now there's little i love more than the sound of my own voice. 

 

2. If you haven't already, I'd have him tested for the "certain diagnoses" which you reference (autism?). How you choose to handle/what you do with whatever diagnosis is is up to you, but why not at the very least, seek as much information. Our friends' son was diagnosed at 6 and they feel strongly they wish they knew earlier as it relates to educational choices they made. their kid is in a school where he's thriving and he was previously not. they can afford it and are glad to have that knowledge. I may be misreading it, but I perceive skepticism of such a diagnosis in your writing. I understand the aversion and it seems like the whole mental health industry overdiagnoses, but I'd seek as much information as possible. 4 is pretty old to not be talking a lot. 

Edited 2 hours ago by thepupil

[Parsad]

3 hours ago, Sweet said:

Part of the reason for me posting this thread, in addition to hearing all the cool things people are doing with their kids, is that I have one boy who will be four in the next month who doesn’t speak.  He knows words, occasionally says words (animals, numbers etc) but he doesn’t really use words to communicate - he’ll take my hand and show me what he wants instead.

 

He’s clearly very intelligent, understands a lot of things I say, and has an unusual memory and eye for detail which is well beyond his peers, but obviously well behind with verbal and communication skills.  

 

The biggest issues with his non-speaking is the low expectations of others, and others who hint at certain diagnoses.  It’s also going to be a problem when he entered more formal education in the next 18 months - if he isn’t speaking by then.

 

I was wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience and what advice they might offer.

 

By the way, have you already checked him for vision or hearing issues.  It might have nothing to do with autism or any sort learning disability.  I needed glasses when I was a toddler...and still wear them 53 years later!  Not using words may also be a sign of not being able to properly hear the words, so the natural default comfort level is to guide you by the hand to what he wants to communicate or point at.  Also, whatever the issue might be...if there even is one...don't stress or panic.  Just deal with it like any thing else...night time feedings, potty training, the flu, etc.  It's just another problem/issue a parent has to deal with and you've handled everything else already!  Cheers!

[lnofeisone]

3 hours ago, Sweet said:

Part of the reason for me posting this thread, in addition to hearing all the cool things people are doing with their kids, is that I have one boy who will be four in the next month who doesn’t speak.  He knows words, occasionally says words (animals, numbers etc) but he doesn’t really use words to communicate - he’ll take my hand and show me what he wants instead.

 

He’s clearly very intelligent, understands a lot of things I say, and has an unusual memory and eye for detail which is well beyond his peers, but obviously well behind with verbal and communication skills.  

 

The biggest issues with his non-speaking is the low expectations of others, and others who hint at certain diagnoses.  It’s also going to be a problem when he entered more formal education in the next 18 months - if he isn’t speaking by then.

 

I was wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience and what advice they might offer.

Sending you encouragement, @Sweet! You’ve got this, and getting professional assessments is a wonderful, proactive step.

 

Every child truly blooms on their own timeline. My son will be 5 soon, and he didn't start speaking until he was 4, with his first full sentence coming around 4.5. Interestingly, his 2-year-old little sister actually beat him to her first sentence! On top of that, he is one of those amazing kids who can focus on Legos or Magna-Tiles for hours. Because of that unique mix, we naturally wondered about autism.

 

We reached out to several specialists, and the wonderful news was that he was simply a late bloomer with a significant speech delay. It took a little patience to find the right fit, but after two years of speech therapy with a therapist he absolutely bonded with, he is thriving and catching up so fast! While he’s still working hard to bridge the gap with his Pre-K peers, his vocabulary is absolutely mushrooming right now.

Hang in there! Trust your instincts, lean on the specialists, and celebrate every little victory along the way. You’re doing an amazing job!