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What Would You Do? (Advice Wanted, Not Investment Related)


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Hi All,


Kinda odd life question here.  Was at my previous employer for about 3 years and took a job with a start up back in March.  I asked about paternity leave because my wife and I were thinking about trying for our first.  The recruiter said they didn't have anything but it was on the Q2 road map (goal of May).  Now we are in mid June, my wife is 9 weeks pregnant and this still hasn't been finalized and shared with the employees.  Furthermore, we had an all hands call and the CEO said that the company was going to freeze hiring in an effort to curb expenses. 


Being home with my wife during the first four weeks is extremely important.  Being with her for 8-12 weeks would be ideal.  The other thing here is the company is full time remote which does help to an extent. 


My questions are:

  1. Would you bring this up to HR if you were in my shoes and how?
  2. Would you look for another job if this isn't done by say end of July?
  3.  If you would look for another job, how and when in the interview process would you convey that you are expecting


Not looking to be bashed for taking a new gig when I knew a child was a possibility 🙂


Happy to answer any questions that might make it easier to give me feedback.





Edited by AzCactus
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Congrats.  Which country/state? There are laws/regulations related to leaves.  FMLA allows for 12 weeks if I recall correctly.  I would suggest talking to HR and specifically ask about paternity leave.  Looking elsewhere may not lead to a better outcome unless you can close within the next two months and defer start date to/until after new arrival.  If you like where you are then looking elsewhere may not be a benefit.


As a father, I would suggest spreading out the leave esp. if everything goes normally.  The first couple of weeks for sure but afterwards break it out to give some time for everyone to adjust. 

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  • AzCactus changed the title to What Would You Do? (Advice Wanted, Not Investment Related)

@vakilkpThanks for the reply and the congrats 🙂 This is in USA-Arizona.  I'm covered by FMLA but from the research I've done FMLA required you to have been at the employer for 12 months.  By the time the baby comes I will have been at the employer about 10 months.  


Re:  looking for a new job-you are right.  Even if I find a job 7/1-I would let the employer know that in about 5.5 months I would need to take maternity leave.  It probably doesn't help that I am in tech sales where there has been some layoffs occurring.  

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@LC Thanks for the feedback.  Yes we have funds saved and it's really not a huge financial issue.  It's more like being afraid to both:

  • Piss off my current employer by bringing up something that they have either deprioritized or might be working on. 
  • Not getting off on the wrong foot with an employer that doesn't even exist yet.   (The longer I wait though the more this would probably make a potential new employer unhappy)
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Yeah you might not get as many bites giving full disclosure but you will certainly piss people off if you join then immediately go on paternity leave. But if you do go that route the banks give some of the most generous parent leaves. My team hired a lady and within a couple of months announced that she was pregnant, went on maternity leave for 26 weeks, came back for like a month, and put in her two week notice. So she "worked" for less than 12 months. Guess a good gig if you can swing it. 

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